I have no idea what to call this blog.

And the award for best name ever goes to: Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:58:03 -0400

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Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:54:45 -0400

manateesandguardians: babblingfishes: steampoweredcupcake: bar...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:54:31 -0400

babblingfishes:

steampoweredcupcake:

baronessvonbullshit:

awkwardstandinglewiskennedy:

offworldcolonies:

Man the 90’s were weird.

Its like we got all this new technology and didnt know what to do with it.

the war on drugs has failed.

was i the only one who thought that your head would actually turn into fruit if you ate one because i did and me and a friend got some and we each ate one and then i looked at her and lied and screamed that she looked just like a watermelon and she started crying

You what

those commercials were actually the exact reason why I never even tried those snacks

221stepstobakerstreet: darmonee: kingofwesteros: people who literally cannot shut the fuck up...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:54:25 -0400

221stepstobakerstreet:

darmonee:

kingofwesteros:

people who literally cannot shut the fuck up about being in a relationship

People who literally cannot shut the fuck up about being single.

people who literally cannot shut the fuck up

people: ugly teenagers become attractive adults

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:54:20 -0400

people: ugly teenagers become attractive adults
me: my whole life depends on this.

poetic-dreams: I would like to take this quick moment to say how glad I am that they didn’t sew his...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:54:15 -0400

poetic-dreams:

I would like to take this quick moment to say how glad I am that they didn’t sew his mouth shut, omg. I was so terrified.

areyoutryingtodeduceme: ladyofdisney: roachpatrol: avatarjk137...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:53:59 -0400

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

ladyofdisney:

roachpatrol:

avatarjk137:

nooby-banana:

thesanityclause:

rinnysega:

vashappeninstyles:

the19thhistory:

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasn’t a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don’t know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year, or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade…. obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He’s too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunately, but we’ve got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment’s balcony.

Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom’s—apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-pierced document hanging on my wall.

what is this

Get out Canada

I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters’ eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won’t allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we’re bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn’t handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid’s eagle, you had to just man up and learn your lesson!

Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn’t use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren’t the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn’t show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we’ve been together ever since.

Some people think it’s excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I’m a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, “You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses,” but I digress. We don’t have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWII aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It’s hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light.

Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so I was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn’t just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here — it’s not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays — was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn’t just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America’s natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother’s eagle ceremony, which I will always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart.

I remember my first eagle ceremony like it was yesterday, There was a huge storm that day and my parents tried to make me wait a few days until the storm subsided. But I was not waiting to get my eagle. So I stood out in the field closest to my house. Thunder rumbling, lightening cracking, and hurricane force winds, but I stood my ground. I was getting me eagle that day if it killed me. I raised the giant american flag as high in the air I could and began waving. The flag was hard to hold with all of the wind, and water the flag was soaking up. It was getting harder to hold by the minute and the storm was getting worse and worse. I was beginning to loose hope that my eagle would ever come. Then as the lightening flashed and the thunder boomed its loudest and its brightest, I saw Bravery flying towards me. So strong, young, and majestic. We both braved the storm to find each other and to this day we are best friends.

wait did I make a meme when did this happen

holywatersupersoakers: detectivebuttcop: sam winchester more like DAMN winchester #wham bam...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:53:56 -0400

holywatersupersoakers:

detectivebuttcop:

sam winchester more like DAMN winchester

#wham bam thank you sam

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Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:53:20 -0400

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Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:51:06 -0400

samuelshakusky: we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:50:59 -0400

samuelshakusky:

we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”

sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:50:56 -0400

sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments

lprocket: One Pot, Two Lives Another great pot idea based on a...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:50:37 -0400

lprocket:

One Pot, Two Lives

Another great pot idea based on a simple love affair. The fishy eats and ‘wastes out’ its lunch, the plant feeds on its nutrients. The plant eats some water and filters it down so it is clean for the fishy. Happy families. Check out more on the Yanko Design website.

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Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:50:32 -0400

clockwork-ragdoll: doctor-wholmes: ocellite: THAT’S BECAUSE...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:49:49 -0400

clockwork-ragdoll:

doctor-wholmes:

ocellite:

THAT’S BECAUSE ALL THE BORDERS STORES CLOSED DOWN YOU IDIOT

NOW I HAVE TO SHOP AT FUCKING BARNES & NOBLE

AND THEY HAVE A CRAP CUSTOMER REWARDS PROGRAM

torchwood-pterodactyl: I don’t even watch spn and this made...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:49:40 -0400

torchwood-pterodactyl:

I don’t even watch spn and this made total whizzbang sense

shubbabang: You ever feel like squishing someones face and leaning in really close and just...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:49:34 -0400

shubbabang:

You ever feel like squishing someones face and leaning in really close and just whispering

6methswith-gaylinson: lostinaworldofmyownn: larryisforever-real...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:49:06 -0400

6methswith-gaylinson:

lostinaworldofmyownn:

larryisforever-real:

deepthoughtswithjamesmaslow:

lady-hakunamatata:

columbusday:

I CANT BREATH

WHY DOESN’T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES????

THIS DESERVES THE NOTES OF EVERY SINGLE TUMBLRER EVEN IF YOURE NOT PART OF A FANDOM

“DIRECTIONERS, GET THE FUCKING GLITTER.” I AM CRYING OKAY THIS IS SO PERFECT.

THE BEST POST ON THIS FUCKING WEBSITE. OMG. ALL OF THE AWARDS.

I CANT TAKE THIS LITERALLY EVERY FANDOM JUST TEAMED UP THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL OMG

internetexplorers: literally is literally one of the most misused words in the world

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:44:45 -0400

internetexplorers:

literally is literally one of the most misused words in the world

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Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:44:45 -0400